come home

i did it!

sim sim salabim

Good God. My last semester is too soon approaching and I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on any one specific thing at all. I've weaseled my way into having an art show in the spring, so that's been on my mind a lot. It started as some liquor infused brain child, but reflecting on it, I don't think it's the worst idea in the world. most of the things i do are a bit tongue in cheek anyways, so why not end my college career with a nice little non-major show. Zach and Johnne have so kindly allowed me to piggyback onto their show, so hopefully my crappy stuff will just make their work look even better. I just hope I don't make a joke out of this. It won't be intentional if that becomes the case. I envision gigantic stuffed animals and hand puppets and maybe even a haircut stand. good god.

well, shit.

time to shape up. use my burps as a chastity belt and unshaven legs as repellent. although I've come to notice that the less i try the worse things i do so lord help me i guess I'll feign an act of courageous, boring splendor until the New Years. until december 30th. bleh. or maybe I'll just wear a big cloth vagina on my head.

lawdy

I can't stop listening to this. It's like grizzly bear and fleet foxes found a nice little brother. It's only a demo, but worth it.

boner

i feel like i don't have friends anymore.

the breeze on my cheeks tickles to a grin. sweat trickling down your neck. i want to find my power animal. i've been searching for inspiration but you can't force it. and yet, you could fill yourself so full of something that the edges of the room will fade into one and move, and more of what's in your mind becomes the express of your being. allowing control before you understand it can only lead to muddled thoughts. i want to find myself- but the self that I envision, not what i emulate or otherwise believe myself to be exuding. slippery thoughts simply work to tease my dreams into a frenzy that not even lucidity could empower. aspirations are becoming liquid fibs and exhausted attempts at productivity.

and now a sappy poem from 2006:

lost without an understand of where

my shoes have gone. serendipity or

just callused feet. a grin full of air,

time to remind them what you're here for.

starting to look forward to thanksgiving. i miss my family, and really really really need a break from school. i thought my senior year was going to be a coast, but no. even more disgruntling than ever. i feel like the only thing keeping me going is my delusional search for acceptance from my teachers. i've become such a kiss ass.

still excited to graduate. even more excited for a nativity throwdown. i like it when everybody comes back during the holidays, for the most part